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My Message to Moms: Do What Is in Your Heart

By Amanda Wagner

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Amanda Wagner

Amanda Wagner lives in Edina with her husband, Austin, three girls and German Shorthaired Pointer, Breeze. She is the owner of Beaujo’s Wine Bar & Bistro at 50th & France and writer of all the things at Greenhouse Content. When she isn’t working on deadline, carting around small children or overseeing the wine bar experience, she loves to spend time with family and friends, read non-fiction, listen to podcasts, workout at Burn Boot Camp and wind down with a glass of red wine (obviously).

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Today, I’m sharing a message to moms… a reminder of the role we play and the example we set for our littles.

I’m a mom of three young girls. The oldest is six and I remember at her preschool graduation, each child was asked what he or she wanted to be when they grow up.

My daughter proudly declared that she wants to be a mom. Even today, this is still top of her list.

I love this because I know it is a reflection of how she views me. I also know that she is incredibly caring and considerate.

Motherhood is a role she was made for and should that be the path she follows, I know she will thrive. And at such a young age, there was also an opportunity to inform and remind my daughter of something very important.

 

 

As a woman, you can be a mom AND anything else you want to be.

Now, let’s pause for a moment. I recognize that for some moms, that is all they’ve ever wanted.

Raising child is challenging and rewarding, but it is enough (for now… or forever). Some moms want to focus on motherhood because children grow and change so quickly.

The moments are fleeting and they want to enjoy every last one. My message to moms is this… be you and do you!

As long as you are pursuing your version of greatness, that is all that really matters to your happiness and that of your family.

For others, there is something burning deep within. Perhaps it’s a desire to work in higher education or for a nonprofit.

Maybe you want to climb the corporate ladder and make a difference within an organization and team that needs your leadership. Or you dream of being an entrepreneur… of pursuing and building your own dream.

My message to moms is that no matter what might be burning deep within, what matters most is that you listen to the voice that’s pushing you forward.

Because for you, the example you are setting is equally important to your role as a mom.

 

My message to moms is this…

No matter what role you play each day or what might be in your heart, motherhood is about doing what is right for you because that is what allows you to be the best mom you can be and set the example your children need.

I’m paraphrasing a bit, but in Rachel Hollis’ first book, Girl, Wash Your Face, she mentioned something about being exactly the mom or parent her children need.

There is no point of comparison because she is all they know and all they need.

I love this because it is incredibly relatable and provides much needed perspective.

As moms, we are hard on ourselves. Are we doing the right thing? Should we be doing more? Have we provided enough opportunity? Do we shelter our children too much? So many questions and so few answers.

So as you consider the roles you play and the roles that mean the most – to you as an individual and your overall identity – keep in mind that being you (whether as a mom, CEO, coach, marketing professional, entrepreneur or all of the above) is all that really matters.

Like many, I struggle to balance the roles I play – from mom to entrepreneur, employee and writer, I want to set an example by pursuing the things I am most passionate about. But time is limited and often, choices must be made.

As you pursue the roles that matter and set the example your children need, here are two tips for being the mom you dream of being, while also pursuing whatever else might be on your heart.

 

Quality time.

It is no secret that children grow and change quickly. I’ve never been overly sentimental. I love watching my children grow and learn and try and try again. I strive to be in the moment, as well as look to what comes next. The key to this is quality time.

Carving out time to just be together.

Maybe that is time to do something truly special or making time to read or watch a movie.

Often times, it is the simple things that matter most and make the best memories.

I love family dinners where we share about our day and sitting on the couch reading books with my girls. I try to volunteer in the classroom as much as possible, be there for the class parties and field trips when my schedule allows and spend a few minutes tucking them into bed each night.

These acts might seem simple. But making time for the little things allows me to feel present in the day-to-day.

I’m also guilty of wasting time on social media and sometimes prioritizing work because of a deadline.

Simple habits bring balance to motherhood. By prioritizing quality time each day, I know that I’m spending intentional time with my girls even when the schedule is busy, dinner is rushed and time is fleeting.

 

Set boundaries.

Part of being a “good” mom is feeling present. This can be hard as we manage competing priorities and strive to “do it all.”

Setting boundaries, especially around time allows us to focus without the guilt.

This also requires some degree of prioritization. When we know what matters most, it is easier to carve out time for those items and set clear boundaries to support goals.

This will look different for everyone.

Perhaps you set clear boundaries around work time because you want to prioritize being present with your children when they are home and awake (we all know that window is small).

Or maybe you are able to work while your kids are at activities, so you can truly unwind when you get home.

Whatever your routine looks like, it’s important to know what matters and set boundaries to prioritize those values. Isn’t there a saying about spending time on what we value most?

I’m striving to eliminate distractions when and where I can so that I can use work time for work and be the present mom I want to be when with my girls. Despite my best efforts, there are days where I spend too much time on social media or lack the motivation to power through my to-do list in the way I’d like. But I remind myself that I’m doing the best I can.

I want to be the best mom I can be and show my girls that you can be and do anything you set your mind to.

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